Well, I guess it's time to update again. Let me just say that weaning off fentanyl is a bitch. There's no other way to put it. As my pain doctor said, "It's like every little ache and pain you've ever had is multiplied by 10." My whole body aches, like the worst flu you've ever had. Muscles, bones, organs, everything. Then there's the headaches, diarrhea, nausea and projectile vomiting a la The Exorcist. And forget trying to stay awake for more than an hour at a time during the day, or sleep more than an hour straight at night. Not fun. At all. I've been doing this since October and yes, it takes that
long! On the bright side, I should be off of all narcotics within a few months and back on my way to my old, cheery self. Or, my old self, at least... ;-)
I had a great conversation with my pain doc the other day. She said the grumpiness is to be expected (then apologized to my mother, lol) and the aches and pains and stomach issues are part of the process. Because fentanyl has such a long half life, I will continue to feel this way for about 3 months after I'm completely off of it. And it will be 4-6 months before I get my brain back. I miss that brain and hate this shriveled up raisin I've had to work with in the meantime. My doctor kept relating this to heroin withdrawals. I asked her if I should just start using heroin, but then I realized I have no veins so that would never work out. :-)
There were good things to hear, too. In my hastiness to get off meds, I had stopped taking some of the meds that will help with my withdrawal symptoms, or I took them irregularly at best. So, I set up a system to take them at regular times and I must say I've been feeling a bit better the last couple of days. I've had more energy and don't feel like I've been run over by a mack truck, more just like a medium-sized sedan. Plus, she gave me a cream to try on my left side where that horrible sore spot is. Whatever it is, it causes excruciating pain if I cough, sneeze or yawn, and moderate pain just breathing sometimes. I'm happy to say that the cream is a tremendous help - yay! I can actually breathe without pain again! This is a big deal to me!
Well, that's all I've got. Enough already, eh? Remember to hug your loved ones! :-)
You are doing what you have to do, but really, you have no choice. That's what soldiers do. They do what has to be done. They have no choice.
ReplyDeleteYou are a soldier and a trooper, and you certainly deserve a medal.
I wish you the very best, and sincerely hope you come out on top.
All the best.
(I worked with Erin for a few years, and that's my connection to you, just so you know.)